


Car Show

by xxdearlybeloved



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 16:19:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxdearlybeloved/pseuds/xxdearlybeloved





	Car Show

You took deep breaths to keep your anger under control as he came to sit next to you with that stupid grin on his face. He wrapped his arm around you and it was all you could muster not to push him off. If you could, you would push him out of the booth, the Garrison, and your life for good. But you couldn’t. He felt you tense under him, the smile falling from his eyes a bit as he tried and failed to read your expression. 

His gaze was intentional but you didn’t want to make eye contact so you turned your head completely, staring pointedly at the wall as Arthur went on about some fight he’d seen earlier that day. You’d always seen Arthur as a big brother, his blue eyes warmer than both of his brother’s when he was in a good mood. He always looked out for you – they all did. But while Arthur felt like a big brother, John had always felt like more. 

You heard Arthur clear his throat as he noticed the tension between you, John chewing that ever present toothpick as he tried to contain his own growing anger. You had been giving him the cold shoulder for days. He thought he had done something wrong, but you’d insisted he hadn’t. He thought you were just in a mood, but he saw the way your face lit up when you were talking to Arthur or Ada. He didn’t understand what your problem was lately. More importantly, he had no idea how to begin to fix it. 

Simply put, he was confused. You were supposed to be his best friend and you were ignoring him. You couldn’t remember your life before John, having been friends since you were old enough to play with the kids in the neighborhood. You don’t know how it happened, how John became the person you trusted most, you just know it did. 

Your connection with him had always been intense, and your families joked that you would be married. You didn’t realize how much you’d internalized this until you first say John kissing Martha when you were 12 years old. You remembered crying, feeling a gaping hole in your chest. You remember John climbing into your window like he had so many times before, climbing into your bed and telling you that he was still your best friend. You believed him. 

You helped calm John down when he found out he was going to be a father. You stayed up with him all night when he found out he was going to war. When he felt as if he’d lost everything from the war, it was you who truly brought him back. His kids loved you, his family loved you, but you were tired of wondering if he did. 

Staring at the wall, you wondered how you would get out of this pattern of watching John give attention to everyone but you. The heat of his arm, still draped around you, was overwhelming and you finally turned to him to ask as briefly and politely as you could to get out of your way. His face scrunched up in confusion but he slid out and you followed, taking brisk steps to the car you and Arthur had driven over to the shop. You knew Tommy didn’t like it left by the Garrison overnight so you decided to drive it back to the shop then walk home to clear your head. 

You got in and cranked the engine, listening to it roar to life before you heard the passenger door open. Alarmed, you braced yourself to either fight or run, before noticing it was only John. He slammed the door, neither of you saying anything as you shifted gears and maneuvered through the dark road. Your hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as the same thoughts raced through your head. The stupid smile on his face as that peaky groupie ran her hands over his chest. You were nauseous as you thought about his hand on her ass and you had to bite your tongue to ask him why he didn’t go home with her. 

You were done listening to his exploits with Lizzie. You were done watching him check out other girls as they walked by. In those sweet moments when you would fall asleep in his bed, dreaming of his hands on you, his lips tracing your body, you wondered what he saw in them that he didn’t see in you. Distracted, you took the familiar roads to your own house instead of the shop. Frustrated and willing to be anywhere other than the car with John, you pulled up to your house and put on the brake, not even looking at him as you went to throw open the door. 

John couldn’t stop himself from reaching past you and slamming it shut before you could get out. You were startled, watching your breath fog the window as John’s arm trapped you in place. He exhaled harshly before pushing back to his side of the car, crossing his arms. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” He broke the silence. You just shook your head, your chest was still tight and you needed to get out of that car before he saw you crying. He grabbed your shoulder to turn you to face him and you pulled away, putting your face in your hands. 

He wasn’t having it though, after days of not being able to talk to his best friend he wanted to understand what was going on with you. “You need to talk to me.” It was a statement, not a request. He was making a demand of you and you felt like you had nothing more to give. 

“I can’t!” you looked up, practically shouting at him as the tears finally escaped your eyes. John was definitely taken aback by your outburst, but he was more hurt by your words. 

“What do you mean you can’t?” he said, his face the picture of confusion and pain. You were the person he trusted most in the world, and he thought you felt the same way. You pulled your hair back as you tried to form words without sobbing, angry he was making you do this right now. 

You took deep breaths, wondering how you would even begin to explain what you were feeling. Then it was obvious, you might as well begin with the truth. “I love you, John.” Your whispered voice and dewy eyes stirred something in John. He knew this was a different “i love you” than the ones he got when he brought you a copy of a new book or soup that Polly had made when you were sick. This was different than the ones you shared late at night when he told you his horror stories from the war or how he was afraid he wouldn’t be a better father than his own. 

He knew you meant it, and he did as well when he said the words he believed and wanted you to know as well. “I love you, too” he said reaching for you, but you were shaking your head. 

“No, you don’t, because you need all these other... girls” you gesture outside the window, “and I am here.” All the secrets and laughs you shared, the warmth and heartbreaks had not prepared you for how difficult this was to say. You felt like you were handing your heart to him, and you were terrified with how he would take it. “I’ve always been here, John, and you don’t even see me.” 

You watched his face as he took in your words, mostly in disbelief. Here you were, the girl of his dreams, who he thought he would never be good enough for, telling him that he didn’t see you. He didn’t know what to say, so he just reached out to wipe the tears that had fallen from your face, but you still pulled away. 

“I do see you” John whispered. For the first time in days, you finally directed a smile at him, but it was full of such sadness he knew you didn’t believe him. 

So he showed you. His thumb continued to trace your cheek as he leaned over to bring his lips to yours, threading his hands through your hair as he pulled you to him. Unsure at first of what he wanted, you tried to pull away. He stopped, the depth of his blue eyes seeming to connect with your soul as he looked at you. And you felt like he did see you. 

Slowly, you brought your lips back to his, feeling their softness as you both held your breath. This kiss felt more monumental than the secret peck you shared in the back of the house he grew up in when you were eight years old. 

Slowly, almost cautiously, your wrapped your arms around him. You felt tiny currents as your lips connected with his, slowly parting them as you deepened the kiss. Your hands slid down his chest and around his neck, pulling him closer to you as your tongues danced together. His hands went to your waist and you let him pull you onto his lap, your knees settling onto either side of his as you let your hands continued to explore his chest and arms. 

He ran his hands over your back and to your ass and you had to push away the thought of how you’d seen him do the same thing earlier. He was with you, not them. He was your John, not theirs. 

His thighs felt strong between yours and you felt exposed, your arousal dampening your underwear as John moved to kiss your neck. His tongue went up to your ear as his warm breath sent shivers through you. Your hands grabbed fists full of his shirt as you whispered his name, feeling weak for him in a way you had never experienced before. He brought his lips back to yours, moving his hands to your thighs and slowly pushing your skirt further up until it settled around your hips. 

His hands guided you to move your hips on him, the thin fabric of your underwear the only thing separating you from John’s tightening pants and his hardness underneath them. The friction was perfect and you pressed down harder, feeling yourself slowly come apart as John sat back to watch you, his hands still on your hips. 

The look of pleasure on your face as you looked at him with those half lidded eyes sent him over the edge. He couldn’t handle being teased anymore, grabbing your hips to hold you still. You whined, feeling so close to the edge and he kissed you harder before using one hand to free himself. You slid your underwear to the side and he rubbed his tip against you, cursing at how wet you were before plunging into you, a groan escaping as he let himself feel how tight you were around him. 

You collapsed against him, your arms squeezing around his neck as you let yourself adjust to him. “Okay?” John’s voice filled your ear and you nodded, gently releasing him as you moved your hands to his shoulders and leaned in to kiss him. He began moving your hips slowly as you started to meet him, moaning softly as he filled you repeatedly. 

John still could not believe this was happening. You were falling apart on top of him, moaning his name. He had always been afraid to ruin the friendship you had, but he had dreamed of this for longer than he wanted to admit. He tried not to come as you clenched around him, running his hand through your hair as he whispered how beautiful you were. You needed him, moving your hips faster as you started to ride him, John’s warm hands sliding under your shirt and cupping your breasts. 

He teased your nipples as the stimulation was overwhelming. It was enough to send you over the edge and you came, crying out his name. You collapsed against him, your face buried in his neck as he continued to drive his hips to yours, pounding against you as he held you still, your whimpers driving him to the edge. 

He finally spilled inside you, breathing heavily against you as he fell back in the seat. You placed lazy kisses on his neck as he took deep breaths, both of you waiting for your heart rates to return to normal. 

Small waves of guilt began to wash over John as he realized he had just fucked his best friend. He didn’t know if he had made things worse or better, but he knew it was one of the best fucks he’d had and he absolutely wanted to do it again. You both savored this moment, wrapped in each other, hesistant to break the cloud of bliss that had formed around you. 

It was only then that you realized you’d just had sex in public, and you sat up suddenly as you looked around and wondered if people could see you. You smiled at the foggy condensation that hid you from the world before turned back to John, his hands lightly tracing your lower back. He was watching you, a smile in his eyes as he continued to run his hands over your body. You kissed him again, bringing your hands to his face – finally feeling seen. 

He pushed your hair back behind your ear, feeling like he couldn’t get enough of your lips on his as you smiled at each other like idiots, both feeling more relieved than you realized you would. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me you were jealous?” John said, smiling his smug smile at you. You sat up, pushing his face to the side as you climbed off him and began to adjust your clothes. Any remaining fears disappeared, he was still the same John. “Where are you going?” he asked, reaching out to you as you tucked your shirt back into your skirt. 

“Inside,” you said, smiling at him as you straightened your skirt. “I need to save any dignity I have left.” You opened the car door and John followed, grabbing your hand as you both went to your door. 

He kissed you again, and you wondered how you’d gone this long without knowing what that felt like. “Can I come in?” He didn’t want to overstep or ruin the night, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet. 

John was fast asleep as he lay in your bed, the dim light just enough for you to trace his features. He had spent countless nights in this bed, just as you’d spent in his. You closed your eyes and smiled as you thought of the countless more to come: the mornings and nights and days in between you would get to spend with the man you loved.


End file.
